Suicidal Thoughts - III

Laila lay next to Abdul. She looked at his face with love and caressed him gently. Abdul's face depicted the misery, sadness, and frustration that life has bought to him. Laila was a strong woman but she couldn’t control her tears when she saw her husband’s miserable condition. She couldn’t sleep that night. The next day Abdul woke up and called Laila.

 She came running, “Yes, Abdul what happened? Is everything alright? Do you need anything?” He was looking at her with amazement. “Come and sit here,” said Abdul.

 Laila went and hugged him. She was very scared. “What happened my love?” he asked.  Laila started weeping and said, “Thank God you are fine. I can’t live without you. Please don’t think about suicide ever again. We will work this out and fight together, please don’t do this again, please.”

Abdul realized that he committed a big mistake by harming himself and hurting the emotions of his family. How could I be so mean? Why didn’t I think of my family? Who would take care of them If I were dead? So many questions were arising in his mind but he tried to stop thinking about them. He then consoled Laila and said, “Don’t worry my love, I won’t do this again, I will never leave you and my kids alone. We both will face this situation together, don’t worry. Thank you for being here with me even in these hard circumstances. I love you, my wife.” Laila smiled and felt relaxed and at peace.

“Now, take some rest, you are tired,” said Abdul.

“But, I have to make breakfast,” argued Laila.

“Don't worry about it. I am not much injured. I am fine; I will make it by myself and you also don’t worry about kids. I will take care of them. You need some rest. Now go,” said Abdul.

“Are you sure?” asked Laila.

“Yes I’m sure”, said Abdul.

Then she said OK and went to take some rest.

It was 3 in the noon, Laila woke up, found her children and husband near her. They were waiting for her to get up so that they could have lunch together.

“How are you feeling now mom?” asked the children together. “I am much better now,” she replied, smiling.  Her children hugged her with love and asked her to come quickly because they were famished.

The stress was still roaming in his head. He was thinking about his family. Suddenly, he heard an unusual voice calling his name, a sound familiar to him. It was approaching from behind. Finally, the sound stopped. He was scared, perspired, and had shallow breaths.

When he turned to see what it was, his eyes bugged out with fear. It was the same old lady. “What are you doing here?” asked Abdul.

The old lady didn’t answer. “I asked what are you doing here?” he shouted. The old lady passed a strange smile and gave money to him and disappeared, again. He dashed towards his home. Running, Running, and running but it was again the never-ending way. A flash of a car came in front of him and he woke up.

Breathing fast with fear, he woke up. “What happened Abdul? Did you see the same nightmare again?” Laila panicked.

“That old lady came again. She always hands me money and disappears. I don’t know what she wants,” Abdul struggled to catch a breath. “Are you still going through stress and anxiety Abdul?  Such circumstances cause such dreams and make you hear strange noises,” she tried to coax him. “If this is the result of my stress and anxiety, then I am fed up with this. I can’t bear it anymore,” Abdul sighed.

We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Take these sleeping pills,” said Laila as she handed him the pills and a glass of water.

“When a person is facing stress, anxiety or depression there is a chance he/she hears or see and unusual things during sleep”

The next day, they had nothing to eat. So, Abdul decided to go to work. He was a bit tensed about whether he could manage something for today. Laila told her children to go and show some love to their father. They went, hugged him, and said, “Papa don’t worry, we trust you, you will surely manage something for us, You are our superhero.” Abdul got emotional.

 “Ok children, now I have to go,” said Abdul.

“Ok papa, we will wait for you,” they replied.

Laila decided to make a list of what she can do to help her husband. She started from the simplest option of selling boiled eggs. The second option was to start stitching clothes, the third was to work at homes and the last option was to start teaching.  The second and last option seemed perfect to her. She could manage home and work at the same time. Laila decided to go to nearby schools. She asked Shazia if she could look after her children for a few hours. Shazia agreed and encouraged her to find a job. Laila went to 3,4 schools for an interview. The interview went well, she came home and waited for his husband’s return.

Abdul was happy that he managed something for dinner. He came home and caressed his children. All were happy.

After spending one month in patience, happiness knocked on their door. Laila has received a call from a school. She thanked her Lord and joined the school the next day, but it wasn’t enough. Abdul and Laila made a proper what-to-do list for running their home and providing better education to their kids. Laila was teaching kids while Abdul on the other hand, started to sell burgers. He used a cart to sell burgers. One year later, Laila managed time to help her husband. Now they started selling Biryani also. People liked their burgers and biryani. Slowly, their living conditions were improving. A few years later, they opened a shop for their small business.

“When you fight hard circumstances with faith and patience, God rewards you for it”.

Situations were better than ever, their children were getting a proper and better education. Afaaq wanted to be a writer and Zakiya, a coding master in the future. That nightmare also stopped bothering Abdul. Both husband and wife were occupied with work and were pleased to see their family happy.

“Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”
                                                                                                            ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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Posted: 03 Jun 2021